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A Lesson in Love

I’d like to relate to you, my reading public, a life lesson that I learned a week or so ago. The subject of historical murderess Elizabeth Bathory had come up in one of the forums Vickie frequents, and I’d remembered that that lovely, well-adjusted gent, Todd McFarlane, had released an Elizabeth Bathory “action figure” as part of his latest McFarlane’s Monsters line.

Anyway, whilst trying to track down an image for Vickie, I saw a notice – McFarlane Toys are producing the official action figures for the upcoming Alien Vs. Predator. Now, I know that Vickie loves the Predators, and she loves her Graham. So I showed her the images of the action figures and said, “Well, there’s your birthday present!” And after a little discussion on which ones she’d prefer, she says, “How come you never get me anything ‘girlie’?”

You know what? She has a point.

If you know Vickie and I fairly well, you probably know that in the past, I’ve bought her as Christmas/Birthday presents Patricia Cornwell books, computer games (including Neverwinter Nights and Law & Order) and even the odd action figure (Graham would have been a birthday present, had he turned up on store shelves closer to October). But I can’t remember a single instance when I’ve presented her with perfume, or clothes, or shoes, or any other accoutrements of femininity (aside form the odd Tatty Teddy).

I suppose I've taken advantage of the fact that Vickie is a fellow geek in order to make buying pressies easy, whilst forgetting that (a) Vickie is still, and enjoys being, of the fairer sex, and (b) it's nice to actually put a little effort into finding a gift rather than going for the easy pressie.

So I admit my flaw to my love, and start thinking along the lines of a nice bottle of parfum.

Skip ahead a couple of days, and we meet Dan on the way out of I, Robot. While we’re all headed in the general direction of our cars, we talk about movies we’re looking forward to, and naturally, Alien Vs. Predator comes up.

And what does Vickie say? “Rob’s getting me a Predator action figure for my birthday!”

The life lesson is this, guys: no matter what you do, you can’t win.

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