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Yesterday, while we were getting ready for the party, Vickie told me that Vinne Jones, star of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and Bacardi's latest ads, has got himself into trouble on an air flight. Although it may not be applicable in Jones' case, I started thinking about how stars often get off with lighter sentences than others convicted on similar charges. Part of it, I think, is that at the very least, you can't put a celebrity into a regular jail; they'd be victims of punishment far more severe than the sentence they should have received. Half the time, I understand that logic.

I had the idea of building a "celebrity prison" this morning, although (a) the idea's probably been thought of (and tried) before, and (b) building a new facility just for wayward stars seems a bit much.

Then it hit me. The perfect solution to the problem.

Re-open Alcatraz.

Think about it. Alcatraz is the perfect place. It's a tourist venue as is. You might be able to bring a copule of wings back up to modern operating status with less money than it would take to build a whole new prison (after all, it has to be safe for tourists right now). And you don't need to troop the tourists through the active wings; all you need to do is rotate the prisoners from one wing to another, and people will gladly pay to see where Michael Jackson was just recently staying. "Oh yes, ma'am, he's still here, just not where the public can see him. Not that you'd want to..."

Admittedly, it won't do much for Jones, as it's an English case, but still, it's a good idea, right?


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