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Snivelling Cowardice

I think I've got over last night's malaise pretty well. After my mewling about that BG rant, Vickie saw my posting and made the very cogent point that if it were really as bad as I was making it out to be, the Two-Brained Cylon (who is an intelligent, hard-working, honest cat) wouldn't have posted it in the first place. She then read the rant, and judged that it was actually pretty intelligently written.

So I swallowed my shallow fear, gave it another read-through, and Vickie's right; it's not as bad as I told myself it was. There are some parts I still don't like, but it's a decent opinion piece, and although the info that the CA crew have uncovered on the DeSanto production indicates that it would have been a quality show, miniseries and/or movie, I don't think it quite invalidates my belief that a remake stands better odds of succeeding than a continuation of the original.

I suppose my reaction yesterday comes down to two things. I'm rather scared of getting people angry at me. I never seem to react well when people get pissed off at me. When I was having that debate/argument with Languatron before the CA boards went under, I'd stay away from the thread after I made a new post/rebuttal; I was scared to read any responses. I thought I was being too inflammatory, thought of things I should have done that I didn't (the very first line I wrote in that thread was along the lines of "Mind if I take a shot at responding?” after which I went straight into discussing his statements without waiting for a yes or no; I beat myself up over my lack of manners afterward).

All this was in deference to the most inflammatory, butt-headed poster on the CA boards at the time, someone whom, if I'd had any real sense, I would have avoided starting any discussion with. I think at the time I had this silly, vain hope that if I treated him civilly and afforded his statements intelligent, non-inflammatory response, I might actually strike up some sort of reasonable dialogue with him. In fairness, he did at least ease up on some of his attacks on my character that resulted from my points; I think he promoted me from "idiot" to "buffoon" at one point.

Also, in my mind yesterday, my rant didn't seem to be based on many actual facts; I felt like I needed to do more research on it. I suppose I'm just afraid of having an opinion. If I research something, and it turns out the facts are incorrect, I can at least blame the facts, whereas an opinion, by nature, isn't independent of me; if I'm wrong, I only have myself to blame, and I don't think I've ever handled that well. If I'm facing a challenge, I tend to avoid it rather than give it a serious effort and fuck it up.

The rant still needs an edit; I did have a chortle at my wonderful sentence "death has claimed the lives of key actors Lorne Greene and John Colicos". Gee, what else claims people's lives? There are some factual errors there as well, through those more reflect my knowledge of the remake attempts at the time. Maybe Two-Brain will allow a revision sometime.

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