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Ya Gotta Keep 'Em In Their Place...

From: Farquhar, Rob
Sent: Friday, 24 February 2006 10:54 AM
To: Ad Reps, Driving Guys, Features Bunch, Writer-y Peoples
Cc: The Boss
Subject: Morning Tea

Okay, you horrible lot, I've been getting some whingeing lately about how you're getting bored with just sausage rolls every Friday and that you want some - what was the word again? - variety, that's it. Of course, if I try to accomodate you whingers, I'm going to get whingeing from those of you who never, ever, bloody ever want anything else but sausage rolls, aren't I?
Well, seeing as how there's no rest for the wicked, I'm going to let you all sort it out. But, and you should all be bloody grateful I'm putting myself out even this much, I'm going to suggest some options.

Right. Option one, suggested by Sam this morning (so whinge at him if you don't like it): We start ordering a Bon Voyage Pack from Brumby's again. For those of you who can't remember what one of those is, it's ten sausage rolls, a choppa loaf, a classic garlic twist, a sundried tomato & olive twist, an apple T-ring and a Boston bun (no, I don't care if you don't know what those are, ask Sam). That comes to $29.95, so if you all get your $2 in on time, I can get some extra sausage rolls, some spinach and cheese rolls and maybe some extras from Woolies.

Now, given that when we last tried ordering that on Friday morning, we'd run into problems, so if you lot decide you want the Bon Voyage Pack (or some other pack, whatever) I'm going to put the order in on Thursday morning. Which means if you all come down with the flu and don't turn up on Friday to get your $2 in on time, I'll start booking your ads to each other's ID numbers! (Yeah, I know you Special Pubs guys don't book ads. I'll think of something, don't you worry.)

Then, there's Option 2: a deli platter from Woolies. Yes, that includes those controversial Lavish rolls I was buying for a while last year. I've got the cute little booklet with all the options if anyone wants to take a look. Of course, they're all a little more expensive than Brumby's, and because Woolies wants 48 hours' notice I have to book them on Wednesday morning. Which means if you all come down with the flu and don't turn up on Friday to get your $2 in on time, I'll start booking your ads to each other's ID numbers, then I'll call your clients, call them names and tell them I'm you! (Still thinking of something for you Special Pubs guys, don't want you feeling all left out.)

Oh, and someone said something about pies. I don't know about pies, so whoever it was - Deborah, wasn't it? - can investigate the options and (try to) convince you lot that pies are a good idea. In fact, please try it; I need the entertainment! Just make sure someone is left whole enough by the end to tell me what you all want, okay?

Because I care,

ROB

Just my way of dealing with the loonies I put up with every day.

I like to think Walter would be proud.

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Comments

Personally, I'd tell them to put their toonies back in their pockets and bring their own grub. That way, they've only got themselves to blame if they don't like what they get.

(((hugs))) Bit like herding cats, innit?

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